How Having an Expensive College Degree Doesn't Do a Whole Lot For Your Life And How You Wish You

I studied for four years,

plus worked my buttox off

in high school to get there,

blowing up my parent's bank

accounts and not even learning

how to manage my own in the

process, not one class on personal

finances nor home economics,

just facts about tyrants and

imaginary numbers and socializing

because that'll "help me a lot now,"

being aware of the collapse of

great civilizations without being

aware of the price tag on my own

britches or the daily gas influxes

nor why adults actually cared about

the Middle East.

I didn't know growing up meant you

suddenly owed the world a little bit

of every part of yourself, you did sell

both legs and your soul to afford

The Student Loans,

after all, that the cost of being able to

pop open a beer meant the gravy train

would now end and leave you clueless,

without an auto-reload button at the bank.

There's no longer any lectures from the

folks about chores, now it's about 401K's

but no one asks if you're ok, there's just the

constant nagging from your own subconscious

that you should be doing better off than this

by now, kids half your age get rich off apps,

but you just get glares from the cat when their

box isn't clean but it's on the list, dammit,

don't judge me because I "can't even" adult!

My generation coined that phrase, "adulting"

because our lack of practical education

added up to uncivilized living, mostly still with

our parents, with a habit of going in circles and

uncertainty of how to make dollar bills appear

off of trees like they used to, with a constant

excuse instead of any kind of physical effort but

we are definitely to blame,

too lazy,

too spoiled,

too technological,

But who taught us these things?