Summa Cum Laude

The feeling in the pit of your stomach when

you’re about to shoot out of the rocket launcher

that is The Hulk at Universal Orlando is the same

feeling that you get when you are in college and

you realize that they are about to vomit you into

the real world with a piece of paper that certifies

that you were able to sit in a chair and regurgitate

material about mathematical facts and quotes from

dead white guys about the importance of education in

the United States and you get an ominous notion

from others who have walked the plank before you

that the paper is actually as useful as a scratch off

lottery ticket that has no winning numbers and you

clutch it until your nails dig in deep and the lights

are shut off in your tiny apartment because there

are no longer parents paying the bills, there are no longer

teachers telling you when the next application is due,

there are no golden stars in the adult world and you have

a fear of heights suddenly imported into your brain and

you feel as if you’re standing on the top of the Golden Gate

Bridge looking down into a hazy dawn wondering how

exactly to write a check or do your taxes or set up a new

doctor’s appointment in a timely manner and it occurs

to you that the degree in your hand has not been the

key to the universe that you expected at all and you

look down and pull your phone out of your pocket and

dial up your old house phone and picture a chorded

phone as your mom picks up and you begin the questions.