Picture Perfect Vacations

The problem with vacations,

like most things in life,

is that we set our expectations

way too high,

we see these postcard images:

a hillside with horses and a

slowly setting sun beside a

young man with a beer and

a wink that invites,

a picturesque greek town with

flowers cascading into a pristine

teal-blue ocean,

a family smiling and embracing

at Disney World,

a pearl-white beach with just

a few beautiful people relaxing.

We see these images set to a

stock voice that tells us our

thousands of dollars will be

well-spent and what a deal!

That the peak of our existence

relies on handing the right

travel agent a wad of cash so

we can endure: hours in a stuffy

cabin squished against someone

who doesn’t believe in showers,

while a child kicks our seat and

a baby a few rows up serenades

us out of a shallow slumber, so

we can arrive at a hotel that is

filled with bedbugs and a fridge

that quits working halfway through

the night, as we walk twice our daily

steps in order to make it to a beach

that is filled with the smell of sweat

and teenage punk and walk upon

sand that is a hot and dirty brown,

you saunter over to the nearest

bar to get an overpriced beer and

buy a shirt to try and imagine that the

vacation really was worth all you paid,

but on a positive note, the postcards

at the CVS nearby are at least the

picture you imagined in your mind

of a perfect vacation.